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1986
ISBN 0-688-06409-4
This is the first of Kinky Friedman's mystery novels. To quote the author: "Greenwich Killing Time was the first book I ever wrote. I wrote it in 1984 and it was published in 1986. I was doing a lot of Peruvian marching powder at the time so I don't remember too much about writing it, but I do recall a couple of things. I borrowed the title from my friend Ted Mann. I borrowed the typewriter, an old Smith-Corona, from my friend, the future Village Irregular, Mike McGovern. Mike graciously loaned me the typewriter claiming he'd missed many important deadlines with the instrument. It had, I later learned, once belonged to his mother before she'd been bugled to Jesus years earlier. I took this as a sign of the Lord's hand at work in the world. It could've been, of course, just another case of a Jew borrowing a typewriter. Though most of the books have been set in New York (with the exception of Armadillos and Old Lace, set in Texas, and the soon-to-be-published Steppin' On A Rainbow, set in Hawaii), Greenwich Killing Time is the only one that was written in New York. Some critics have remarked, not unkindly, we hope, that the book smells like New York. If this is true it is no doubt because of the truly visceral voyage one goes through in writing a first novel. It's almost as if your first novel writes you..."
A Case Of Lone Star
1987
ISBN 0-517-69427-1
The second of the mysteries featuring the foul-mouthed Kinky Friedman, ace private eye. It is Thanksgiving at the legendary Lone Star Cafe, a raucus little corner of Texas right in the middle of Manhattan. Larry Barkins is found dead in his dressing room, his head bashed in with his own guitar.
When The Cat's Away
1988
ISBN 0-517-07564-4
A purloined feline from Madison Square Gardens' cat show is a tip-off to a trail of murders, drug rings and gang wars that only Kinky Friedman can follow.
Frequent Flyer
1989
ISBN 0-688-08166-5
Kinky Friedman--the New York-based, wisecracking, hard-living, cigar-smoking, reluctant sleuth--stumbles upon adventure once again in his search for an apparently dead friend from the past.
Musical Chairs
1991
ISBN 0-688-09148-2
A story featuring the foul-mouthed Kinky Friedman, ace private eye, which first appeared in "More Kinky Friedman". Someone is killing the Texas Jewboys, a guerrilla country-music band, and Kinky stalks the killer, armed only with attitude and a cigar.
Elvis, Jesus and Coca-Cola
1993
ISBN 0-671-86922-1
When an ex-girlfriend disappears, a documentary-in-progress turns up missing, and the screenwriter working on it overdoses, Kinky Friedman takes on a case complicated by murder, mayhem, and Elvis impersonators.
Armadillos and Old Lace
1994
ISBN 0-671-86923-X
Hoping to escape New York City violence by taking a break in Texas, Jewish country-western singer and amateur detective Kinky Friedman is asked by a local justice of the peace to solve the murders of four senior citizens.
God Bless John Wayne
1995
ISBN 0-684-81051-4
Ace detective Kinky Friedman's is asked is to track down the birth parents of his freeloader friend Ratso, but when Ratso turns up dead, Kinky follows a trail of clues from downtown Manhattan to a Hudson River estate, where a medicine chest reveals the tragic truth.
The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover
1996
ISBN 0-684-80377-1
A beautiful woman, a missing husband, and a private eye with eyes for his comely client. It's the classic hardboiled-mystery setup. But in the grip of Kinky Friedman, expect one of the wildest, wackiest, and weirdest rides of your life!
Roadkill
1997
ISBN 0-684-80378-X
Who would slap an Indian curse on a good ol' boy like country singer Willie Nelson? Probably the same person who's been firing shots into Willie's hotel room and sending nasty notes promising the cowboy crooner a one-way ticket to the big rodeo in the sky. Could it have something to do with the medicine man who got run over by Willie's tour bus one dark night? If anyone can find out, it's ace troubleshooter and well-known troublemaker Kinky Friedman--on the road again in his tenth wickedly funny, off-the-wall mystery caper.
Blast From The Past
1998
ISBN 0-684-80379-8
Return with us now to those carefree days of yesteryear known as the 1970s--when the Bee Gees were bigshots, all sex was safe, and smoking in public wasn't a hanging offense. In the heart of New York's Greenwich Village, Jewish cowboy Kinky Friedman is trying to survive as a country crooner at the Lone Star Cafe. And--thanks to a trigger-happy stalker--he's also just plain trying to survive. But who would want to blow away a lovable guy like the Kinkster? Are they really gunning for Kinky's houseguest, Barry Freed, a.k.a. Sixties radical Abbie Hoffman? Could there be a connection to Kinky's current girlfriend, Judy, who swears she's being followed by her old paramour, who perished in Vietnam? It's enough to drive a mild-mannered musician into the dirty business of detective work. But then, being shot at, almost blown up, and threatened with violent death will do that to a person.
Spanking Watson
1999
ISBN 0-684-85061-3
How many lesbians can dance on the head of a pin? Kinky Friedman sure as hell doesn't know, but he's learning exactly how many it takes to send the geriatric plaster tumbling from the ceiling of his downtown New York loft. The culprit is one Winnie Katz, man-hating proprietress of a lesbian dance troupe that thunders daily through his waking dreams. And when Winnie won't even give it enough of a rest to let Kinky patch the hole, our hero, lost in a blue-gray haze of Irish whiskey and cigar smoke, takes drastic action. He pens an anonymous, threatening note, hoping -- as only one lost in an alcohol-soaked fantasy can hope -- to then step in as "Ace Private Big Dick" Friedman, and save the day, thus earning the undying gratitude of Ms. Winnie. Besides, just as Sherlock Holmes had his Watson, the Kinkster needs a suitable sidekick, and what better test? He calls on each of his Village Irregulars to solve the case: reporter Mike McGovern; Dylan look-alike Ratso Sloman; investigator Steve Rambam; and his own lady love, the delicious Stephanie Dupont. But things get dicey when the bogus death threat turns all too real, and suddenly Kinky and his Keystone crime fighters find themselves dancing -- none too daintily -- for their lives.
The Mile High Club
2000
ISBN 0-684-86486-X
It all starts with a casual flirtation, two people on a flight from Dallas to New York. She's gorgeous and mysterious; he's a private detective. When the plane lands, the detective -- our hero, Kinky -- finds he's been left holding the bag, literally. The woman, having asked the Kinkster to watch her luggage while she visits the can, has taken a powder and somehow vanished. Mystery Woman does turn up again, but not before Kinky has claimed the interest of an array of suits from the State Department, been party to a thwarted kidnap attempt by Arab terrorists, and found a dead Israeli agent parked on the toilet of his downtown Manhattan loft.Employing the able-bodied assistance of his usual sidekicks, the Village Irregulars, Kinky eventually gets to the bottom of all the comings and goings of the many visitors to his loft, including two late-night visits by the mysterious and suddenly affectionate woman from the plane and one not-so-late-night visit by her angry brother. Raunchy, offbeat, and hilarious, The Mile High Club, complete with a surprise ending, is Kinky at his considerable best.
Steppin' On A Rainbow
2001
ISBN 0-684-86487-8
With nothing to do and no one to bother, ne'er-do-well private dick and man-about-town Kinky Friedman ponders life and discusses world affairs with his equally bored cat. His reverie is short-lived, however, when he gets the news that stalwart Village Irregular Mike McGovern has disappeared while visiting Hawaii. Knowing McGovern's penchant for inebriated side trips, Kinky isn't too concerned -- until a few days turn into several weeks. Worried about their pal, Kinky and his motley crew of comrades head to Hawaii to look into McGovern's disappearance -- and find themselves caught in a big kahuna of a mystery chock-full of ancient myths, sacrificial cults, totems, taboos, native drinking practices and, if they're lucky, the occasional lei.
Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch
2002
ISBN 0-684-86488-6
Kinky Friedman, private dick extraordinaire and animal lover nonpareil attempts to locate an 11-year-old autistic boy and a 3-legged cat named Lucky.
Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette: Or How To Get To Heaven Or Hell Without Going Through Dallas-Fort Worth
2002
ISBN 0-06-093535-9
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Delivering belly laughs, hee-haws, and downright slackjaw amazement, this hilarious guide to the homeland of George W. and Willie Nelson is the essential how-to for surviving in the Lone Star State. From strange Texas laws and the history of Dr. Pepper to "Texas Talk" (in which a "turd floater" is a heavy downpour) and final-meal requests by death row inmates, Kinky Friedman, "the oldest living Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate," provides an insider's guide that will be loved by native Texans and the rest of us poor devils alike. Even if you don't know the difference between an Aggie and an armadillo -- or what's really in the back on Willie Nelson's tour bus -- you can pass for a Texan with the Kinkster's expert coaching. So grab your hairspray and the keys to the Cadillac and get reading!
Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned
2003
ISBN 0-06-620979-X
Walter Snow is doomed. He stares at the blank pages in his typewriter, hoping for the spark that will finally ignite his ambition to write the Great Armenian Novel. And then he meets Clyde Potts. She is beautiful, intelligent, charming, perhaps psychic, and, for better or worse, very possibly unbalanced. With Potts’s joie de vivre and her certified-insane partner in crime, Fox Harris, Snow is caught up in a series of pranks against corporate sprawl that they execute with a bit of booze and some wacky tobaccy from Australia known as Malabimbi Madness. Things quickly spin out of control as the trio’s ultimate, diuretically inspired prank leads to an unexpected, shocking conclusion, and Walter is left to wonder if the only things you ever keep in this life are the things you let slip through your fingers.
Curse of the Missing Puppet Head
2003
ISBN 0-9702383-6-3
At the most outrageously inopportune moment, the little Negro puppethead - Kinky Friedman's keyholder, talisman and surrogate Pinocchio-like son - goes missing, and the Curse of the Missing Puppethead takes effect. In a desperate effort to find the missing puppethead, Kinky mounts his most intense and entertaining investigation ever. Anyone and everyone is a suspect in Yorick's disappearance, even the Village Irregulars. When Lexie, a beautiful and exotic escapee from Winnie Katz's Lesbian Dance Class, enters Kinky's life, the curse takes a dramatic and hilarious turn for the worse. Kinky discovers that, until he find his big puppethead, his little puppethead will also be missing in action. As Kinky's personal and professional lives begin to spiral downward, he leaves no rock unturned and no clue unpursued in a furious effort to recover the puppethead. Just when it appears that he may have found the first real clue to Yorick's whereabouts the Curse of the Missing Puppethead shifts into high gear, and Kinky's college friend, Nick "Chinga" Chavin, is falsely charged with the hit-and-run murder of a child. And not just any child, but the young son of Big Jim Gravotta, the Butcher of Staten Island. Curse of the Missing Puppethead is crime solving, mystery writing, romantic encounters, friendship and a unique philosophy of life bundled into a wildly entertaining novel by an original and unique talent.
The Prisoner of Vandam Street
2004
ISBN 0-7432-4602-0
Alfred Hitchcock's classic film Rear Window gets an affectionate kick in the butt in this homage from master crime writer, philosopher, and equal-opportunity offender Kinky Friedman.
It's a case of malaria versus murder when private dick extraordinaire Kinky Friedman comes down with a tropical disease, in the jungle known as New York City, and is confined to his loft on Vandam Street in lower Manhattan, a prisoner in his own home with only his cat and black puppet head as company (neither of whom are great conversationalists). With little to do but stare out the window in between bedridden bouts of fever and hallucinations, Kinky calls on assistance from the stalwart Village Irregulars, who proceed to dish out their own uniquely skewed brand of tea and sympathy, turning the loft into a virtual Mardi Gras of confusion and drunken debauchery. Suffering almost as much from company overload as from his fever, Kinky welcomes a rare moment of calm as he finds himself once again alone in his loft. Resuming his position at the kitchen window, he spots a pretty young woman in an apartment across the street. What he hopes might be titillating turns terrifying, however, as a man joins the woman and proceeds to attack her. Sure that he's witnessed a crime, Kinky calls in the cops, but, upon investigating his claim, they can find neither a victim nor an apartment across the street. In addition, no one else saw or heard anything that would ndicate a crime had taken place. Was it foul play or merely a fevered dream? Convinced that their friend is about to slip off into the land of eternal slumber, the Village Irregulars increase their vigilance and in the process raise the Kinkster's irritability level to an all-time high. Not to be deterred, however, Kinky sticks to his story and is rewarded when a few days later he sees the man in the apartment again, but this time with a gun. Outrageous, audacious, and ingeniously crafted, The Prisoner of Vandam Street is vintage Kinky: irreverent, clever, and full of the hardened philosophy and mordant wit that has earned him a vast and devoted readership. But what more would you expect from the writer The New York Times has called "The world's funniest, bawdiest, and most politically incorrect country music singer turned mystery writer"?
'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out: Reflections On Country Singers, Presidents, And Other Troublemakers
2004
ISBN 0-06-053975-5
Kinky Friedman is back, and with 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out he gets it on with all manner of egos. In this collection of twisted takes on life, the Kinkster gives us funny, irreverent, and insightful looks at outsized personalities from people he's known, like Bill Clinton, George W., Willie Nelson, and Bob Dylan -- not to mention Joseph Heller and Don Imus -- to people he's known in spirit, such as Moses, Jesus, Jack Ruby, and Hank Williams. With his meditations on subjects ranging from sleeping at the White House, marriage, his pets, fishing in Borneo, country music, and cigars to the tribulations of possessing talent, Kinky doesn't deny us the "flashes of brilliance and laugh-out-loud observations" (Rocky Mountain News) that are present in all his other work. Hilarious, irreverent, and passionately twisted, 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out reads as if it were written by a slightly ill modern-day Mark Twain.
The Great Psychedelic Armadillo Picnic: A "Walk" In Austin
2004
ISBN 1-4000-5070-7
Kinky Friedman, the original Texas Jewboy, takes us on a rollicking, rock-and-rolling tour of his favorite city: Austin. Maybe you want to know which restaurant President Bush rates as his favorite Austin burger joint. Or maybe you want a glimpse of Willie Nelson’s home life (hint: Willie plays a lot of golf). Perhaps you want to get the best view of the Mexican free-tail bats as they make their nightly flights to and from the Congress Avenue Bridge. Or maybe you’re itching to learn the history of a city that birthed Janis Joplin, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and countless other music legends. It’s all here in The Great Psychedelic Armadillo Picnic, the slightly insane, amazingly practical, and totally kick-ass guide to the coolest city in Texas by none other than Kinky Friedman. This ain’t no ordinary travel guide, neither. “Like most other busy cities these days, Austin is not very effectively traversed by foot,” Kinky explains. “You must understand that ‘a walk in Austin’ is primarily a spiritual sort of thing.” As might be expected from this politically incorrect country-singer-turned-bestselling-mystery-author, the Kinkster’s tour includes a bunch of stuff you won’t ?nd in a Frommer’s guide, from descriptions of Austin’s notable trees and directions to skinny-dipping sites to lists of haunted places and quizzes and puzzles. So put on your cowboy hat and your brontosaurus-foreskin boots and head down south with the only book you need to get to the big heart of this great city.
Ten Little New Yorkers
2005
ISBN 0-7432-4603-9
Kinky Friedman has always proven himself to be a master of the offbeat and irreverent, and still manages to pull off a helluva whodunit in the process. Now the Kinkster may have met his match in this superbly crafted, fiendishly clever tale of a murderer who's methodically killing off unsuspecting Manhattan men. Gallingly, all clues point toward Kinky. Greenwich Village is the setting for Ten Little New Yorkers, a tale of murder and mayhem as only Friedman can warble it and featuring his usual suspects, including Ratso -- Dr. Watson to Kinky's singular Sherlock Holmes. As the clues and bodies pile up and the cops strong-arm Kinky as their man, he has to jump through hoops to find the real killer, all the while maintaining his outrage and, of course, his innocence. The murderer may be someone close to Kinky, which leads to a shocker of an ending that will surely take Kinky devotees completely by surprise. With a wink and a nod to Dame Agatha (as in Christie), after which all resemblance to those classic mysteries fades, this is one of Friedman's most complex and irresistible page-turners yet. Cunningly tentous issues of life, death, guilt, innocence, love, loss, and the danger of false confessions, this is Kinky Friedman at his wily, suspenseful, and sacrilegious best.
Texas Hold 'Em: How I Was Born In A Manger, Died In The Saddle, And Came Back As A Horny Toad
2005
ISBN 0-312-33155-X
“Texas Hold ‘Em is more than just a card game. It deals…with that fine, forgotten art of playing a poor hand well…Texas Hold ‘Em is a state of mind, a spiritual survival technique, a way of holding on to things that might just be important in this ever-changing world." —from the introduction to Texas Hold ‘Em. The irrepressible, future Governor of Texas is back with a crusade to stop the wussification of the Lone Star State. He never thought he'd see the day when he'd miss gun racks in the back windows of pickup trucks, but he almost does. He misses the days when cowboy shirts never had buttons and coffee with a friend was still a dime. Many of the stubborn, dusty, weather-beaten little towns, roads, trucks, jeeps, people and animals are gone now. Like it or not, the peaceful, scenic bucolic Hill Country of his childhood is being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. His is at his outrageous best as he gives Americans a look at the state made famous by the Alamo, the armadillo, Willie Nelson, and, well, Kinky Friedman. Texas Hold ‘Em is composed of provocative essays, including autobiographical pieces that are at times bittersweet and at other hilarious, profiles of such stellar Texans as his friend, Willie Nelson, as you've never seen him before, George W. Bush, and Racehorse Haynes, and a treasure trove of lists, quizzes , including:
If the Ten Commandments Were Written by a Texan
Tex My ride
Texas Firsts
What Kind of Texas Driver Are you?
As an added diversion, the book is decorated with cartoons by the brilliant John Callahan, particularly appealing to those whose lives are spiraling downward into tailspins of despair. Texas Hold 'Em is the way in which the Kinkster plays the game of life. To him, Texas Hold' Em means holding on to what is dear to him, to the things that made him who he is, always remembering that the most important things in life aren't things. An old cowboy philosophy of life sums it up — "hang on tight, spur hard, and let 'er buck."
Cowboy Logic : The Wit And Wisdom Of Kinky Friedman (And Some Of His Friends)
2006
ISBN 9780312331573
Cowboy Logic is filled with the bons mots of our favorite Texas legend, "the oldest Jew in Texas who doesn't own real estate." Complementing his ageless (and outrageous) maxims organized thematically are original cartoons and illustrations by the brilliant Ace Reid. For example: *Always respect your superiors, if you have any.*Where there's a will, there's a lawyer.*A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.*Trust me. I'm a Jew. I'll hire good people.*Happiness is a moving target. Kinky is famous for his one-liners, and here are the best of them.
The Christmas Pig: A Fable
2006
ISBN 1416534989
It's a Christmas tale only a man called Kinky could tell. King Jonjo Mayo the First is in a bind. Every Christmas, he commissions an artist to paint a traditional nativity scene to be dramatically revealed after midnight mass. This year, though, the date is mere weeks away, and he still has not yet found his painter. The king decides to take a chance on a peculiar, mute boy whose artistic genius and clairvoyance are rumored throughout the kingdom. He sends three valiant, if begrudging, knights to seek out the boy in the remote countryside. Finally, they find Benjamin -- and he is, indeed, peculiar. Nobody knows if the child is up to the task, but the king's Christmas tradition -- and Benjamin himself -- might just be saved by a Christmas miracle that comes in the form of a very special pig -- who is rather peculiar herself.
You Can Lead A Politician To Water, But You Can't Make Him Think: Ten Commandments For Texas Politics
2007
ISBN 9781416547600
And Kinky Said Unto the People: Why the Hell Not?
So the good people of Texas weren't able to get the Kinkster into the Governor's Mansion in 2006. It was a solid race, and he fought the good fight. Getting on the ballot as an independent -- a feat that had not been achieved in over a century -- was a victory in itself. And with ideas like "slots for tots" (legalized gambling to pay for education), the five Mexican generals plan (bribes to enforce border protection), and a firm stand against the "wussification" of the state, he would have done a helluva job. If that 2006 election was any indication -- and it was -- the political landscape in both Texas and the country at large needs a significant overhaul. The hucksters, the wealthy, and the twofaced rule; there is no room for Truth, and the little guys are quickly forgotten in all the muck. But Kinky, (briefly) down yet certainly not out, is still looking out for his fellow Americans, and he has much wisdom to impart. In this hilarious, thought-provoking manifesto, Kinky lays forth his ten commandments for improving the state of Texas and politics everywhere, and for restoring order, logic, decency, and above all a sense of humor back to this country. It's classic Kinky in a brand new way. And he might just have a point.
What Would Kinky Do? How to Unscrew a Screwed Up World
2008
ISBN 9780312331597
Kinky Friedman, who would be our contemporary Will Rogers if Will Rogers had been Jewish, smoked cigars, and foolish enough to believe he could govern the great state of Texas, returns with this collection of hilariously raunchy, sometimes poignant, and always insightful essays. With fearless wit and wisdom born from many a late night’s experience, Kinky offers both pearls and cowpats that touch on life, death, and everything in between. Considering the current predicament of our nation and the world at large, the question is, “What would Kinky do?” His answers invoke Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Judy Garland, George Bush, and other cultural touchstones; reflect on Texas etiquette, smoking in bars, mullet haircuts, immigration policy, and how Don Imus died for our sins; and advise on how to handle a nonstop talker on a long flight, how to deliver the perfect air kiss, and what to do when a redneck hollers “Hey y’all, watch this!” Whether he’s “the new Mark Twain” (Southern Living), “in a class with Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, and, yes, Henny Youngman” (The New York Post), “a Texas legend” (President George W. Bush), or “the Mother Teresa of literature” (Willie Nelson), Kinky Friedman is an outrageously funny and uncommonly smart observer of our common predicament: life and what to do about it.
A little friendly advice from “Texas for Dummies”
*Get you some brontosaurus-foreskin boots and a big ol’ cowboy hat. Always remember, only two kinds of people can get away with wearing their hats indoors: cowboys and Jews. Try to be one of them.
*Get your hair fixed right. If you’re male, cut it into a “mullet” (short on the sides and top, long in the back---think Billy Ray Cyrus). If you’re female, make it as big as possible, with lots of teasing and hair spray. If you can hide a buck knife in there, you’re ready.
*Buy you a big ol’ pickup truck or a Cadillac. I myself drive a Yom Kippur Clipper. That’s a Jewish Cadillac---stops on a dime and picks it up.
*Don’t be surprised to find small plastic bags of giant dill pickles in local convenience stores.
*Everything goes better with picante sauce. No exceptions.
*Don’t tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
Kinky's Celebrity Pet Files
2009
ISBN 9781416592785
Kinky Friedman has a lot of friends and heroes in the music business - Levon Helm, Tom Waits, Dr. John, Fats Domino, Johnny Cash, and Emmylou Harris among them. But his eclectic list of pals extends far beyond that. Don't forget Dom Deluise, Joseph Heller, Penn and Teller, Buster Keaton, and Molly Ivins too. And like Kinky, his friends are crazy about animals. Filled with candid picture and hilarious stories, Kinky's Celebrity Pet Files is a bit like hanging out at the coolest, funniest, quirkiest cocktail party ever.
Heroes of a Texas Childhood
2009
ISBN 0615306853
In his latest book, Kinky Friedman reflects on the impressive characters who colored his own years growing up in Texas. Heroes of a Texas Childhood highlights 23 individuals who inspired and influenced the child then known as Richard Friedman. Kinky's heroes come from all walks of life. Some are well-known, like Sam Houston and Lady Bird Johnson while others are more obscure. All of his subjects have something in common: they each showed unwavering courage in the face of obstacles, resistance and fear.
"Some of the heroes in this book are covered in glory, and some remain unsung even to this day," says Kinky. "They are between these pages because of the way they faced the failures, challenges and tragedies of their lives...the best way to know somebody is to find out who their heroes are." In paying homage to his heroes, Kinky’s trademark wit meets a softer, more thoughtful voice. Insightful, touching and always entertaining, Heroes of a Texas Childhood is the most personal of Kinky Friedman's 29 books.
Amazon's Kinky Friedman Page
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